First day was H-O-R-R-I-B-L-E !! I drank milk for breakfast ,, was stressed all day in school ,, thinking about it !! for lunch , i was sitting with my sisters eating lunch - Chicken cesear salad - I finished my plate , took a deep breath , and went to the bathroom with my MP3. I sat on the ground , took another breath , stuck my finger in my mouth and did it . i stayed for 30 minutes trying NOTHING IS COMMING UP ! WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING ? HOW CAN I LOOSE RESPECT FOR MY BODY ! AM I DOING THIS ? OMG ,, NO NO NO ,,, I'M NOT GONNA DO THIS !! YES I WILL I'M WAY TOO FAT . I FELT SO VULNEBRLE I FELT EXTREMLY DEPRESSED I OST RESPECT FOR MY SELF THAT PERSON I WAS TRYING TO BUILD FOR A YEARNOW WAS FLUSHED AWAY WITH THAT FOOD I JUST THREW UP.
i kept crying all day not knowing what to do !!! Do I call a friend ?Do i tell my sister ? Do i continue doing it ? Do oi stop ?? So simply i kept crying all day , and i'm not lying I SWEAR ALL DAY .
i don't really rememeber if ate somthing for the rest of the day but i remeber sleeping 6:30 pm !!
I didn't know what to do , i thought it would be easier , but i stayed in the bathroom for an hour trying to throw up it was hard . and I din't know if i was going to do this or now , i didn't know what to do ! But i think Deep Down Inside I knew this was going some where .
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